After 12 years, from my very first day in 1999 as a boyish-looking kindergartener with a Winnie the Pooh bag who would not allow herself to cry, it’s over. That’s it. I’ll never sit in an SAS classroom again.
I stood up together with 40+ other people to greet teachers with the classic monotonic “Good morning xxx” for the last time. Complained about the heat and lack of aircon in classrooms for the last time. Waited for that 12.30 bell to ring, did PE, did duty, HAD LESSONS WITH TEACHERS, closed an exercise book saying “Stella Chai 5S1”, and zipped up my pink schoolbag for the very last time.
The same old routine school things I’ve been doing for the past 12 years that I've never even thought twice about, I’m now never going to do again. This has got to be the biggest personal change I’ve ever had to face (as opposed to big changes that affect me but which I’m not actually a part of).
It’s like a little part of me that’s been thriving for the past 12 years has just suddenly died.
And I haven’t even graduated yet! (Gonna bring a whole cardboard carton of tissues to graduation because I know without a doubt that I will be crying shamelessly like a baby.)
I’m going to miss my class A LOT. Even though we’ll still see each other almost every day during the exams, it’s not just a few people that I’ll miss, but the class as a whole. Every single person that makes (sorry can’t even come close to using the past tense here) 5S1 what it is! In a way, they’re like my school family ♥
I'm going to miss my class teacher a lot too. She's taught me for 5 years and I've always loved her English lessons so so much, I don't think I'll ever meet another teacher quite like her! It was sad writing in her old tattered black diary, the same book my sister once wrote in 7 years ago.
But I didn't cry today and that surprised me. Without realizing it, I was having so much fun cherishing those last moments as a class that I actually forgot to be sad. Or it's likely I'm just in denial huh?
I realized that while I might not miss the school itself that much, what I will miss is the circumstances, the situations, the conditions. You know, “being a student”. Being part of a class, wearing uniforms, sitting in a classroom, recess, the 7-12 routine. Probably won’t miss homework and assemblies (hehe), but you never know!
This is altogether bizarre and surreal. I can’t believe I’m in the final stages of wrapping up my secondary school education. One step closer to no longer being a schoolgirl. I just wish there was a giant PAUSE button somewhere I could press, or even… what’s the opposite of fast forward??? Slow backward? Lol!
It’s all happening so fast. Somehow naïve me thought these days would never come. Where'd the time go?
I wish I could travel back in time a few years and tell my younger self to STOP WISHING TO HURRY UP AND GRADUATE. Gosh, if there’s one useful piece of advice I could tell any schoolkid, that would be it!
The worst thing is that all this should be the last thing on my mind right now. My ‘O’ Level’s start in less than a week. So I guess it’s a good thing that I’ve gotten everything off my chest first.
Okay so this blog post isn’t completely wordy, here’s some camwhoring shots from a few weeks ago where I look unnecessarily happy:
Gonna turn to 90210 on PPS for a dose of crazy unreal drama, anything to suppress the pangs of sadness <=(
